tangent seven: MW + DS = ♥.

Hi.

Yesterday I had this great idea to write a tangent about John Parker Wilson (Alabama's smokeshow of a quarterback) and somehow tie in my obsession with Hodge Wooten, my favorite Alabama alum, but I just couldn't get it together in time. I'm not an Alabama fan. I just enjoy both JPW and Hodge...probably Hodge more than JPW. Hodge is worth writing about, and I'm sure you will hear more about him at some point in time. He's not a celebrity or a nationally recognized athlete. He's a very good friend of mine, and I've been obsessed with the kid for 10 years now. He knows it. It's no secret that I adore him. I gave up being covert about my decade-long crush about 9 1/2 years ago. So if you know him and plan on sending this to him to be like, "Dude, this chick has a major thing for you," you're wasting a lot of precious time. I'll probably call him after this to inform him of the post. To be honest, he should've ended up in the collage over a few things. (Hi sweet Hodge.) Okay, transitioning into today's tangent. Devon Sawa. I'm sure you remember him, especially if you're a girl in your early 20s. He had a front-running position as a tween heartthrob for a good 2 or 3 years back in the mid-'90s. I first fell for Devon after watching Little Giants. My love for him then began to grow pretty steadily once Casper hit theaters. Oh how I yearned for him to whisper, "Can I keep you?" into my ear while dancing in mid-air, two feet above the ground. Christina Ricci was one lucky gal. My infatuation was in full bloom after watching and re-watching Now & Then. Devon's perfect portrayal of Scott Wormer, the sarcastic smart-ass and love interest of (go figure) Christina Ricci's character, Roberta Martin, pushed me into a crush level that I hadn't yet experienced in all my 11 years of existence. It was, in a word, intense. Since my return from Italy, I've been gradually cleaning out my room, trying to get rid of a lot of childhood paraphernalia and attire. It's proving to be a very difficult task for a few reasons: I'm a pack-rat, I hate to clean, and I have real ADD (as in, I didn't need to buy medicine from my friends during exam time...I had my own). The other day, as I was attempting to organize, I found one of my old journals, got distracted, and stopped cleaning. I started browsing through it and found the entry that inspired me to write today's tangent. Actually, it only partly inspired me. I was also inspired because one of my friends called me yesterday and told me that she made out with a guy who starred in Now & Then (okay, not so much "starred in" as "had one line in"...whatever, I'm still impressed). True story, folks. I think I was more excited about the make out sesh than my friend was. I immediately IMDBed this guy and confirmed the validity of her confession. Then I got jealous, for I, too, would like to smooch someone who has been in close vicinity of Devon Sawa. Anyway, the first half of this tangent's inspiration can be seen below: 

Now I'm not one to doubt my undying love for Señor Sawa way back when; however, I do have a few bones to pick with 11-year-old Melissa about this particular entry:

1. "Alot" is not one word. You should have learned that a long time ago.
2. Easy on the capitalization, bolding, underlining, and exclamations. It'll be okay. We get your drift about the importance of DEVON SAWA!!!
3. While it seems very unfair in your eyes that Devon Sawa resides across the country, miles and miles away from you, it's for your own good. I know you probably haven't thought this out, but any relationship consummated between the two of you would be deemed illegal in the law's eyes and would most likely land the love of your life behind bars. (Also, you don't fully understand what it means to consummate a relationship yet, and you've still got a few years until you do.)
4. Your little "P.S." addition makes me laugh. Let me get this straight: the main reason you and Devon can't be together is because of distance? It's merely a minor hindrance that he's a famous actor and you're an awkward preteen about to embark on your first year of middle school. Yeah, that makes sense.
5. Where did you learn that Devon Sawa was coming to Georgia? I'm fairly certain he'll never make it into these parts and that you made up that information. You're known to fib a bit at your age...especially in your journal. I'm not sure why because it's your journal, but if I can make a bold prediction, Devon will stay put in Hollywood. Let me know if I'm incorrect though.
6. Concerning that one in a million chance about meeting him...isn't it more like one in a trillion? 
7. I know what the outcome of that chance will be, and it's not going to work out in your favor. Sorry.
8. Why did you choose to edit this entry at a later date? The point of keeping a journal is so you can record your current thoughts. It's not okay to go back and edit history just to suit your wants, but again, you have some trouble with telling the truth right now so I'm not all that surprised. Also, way to be inconspicuous about it with a black pen. 
9. Your love for Jared Leto most certainly does not surpass your love for Devon on June 15, 1996. Your Jared Leto phase won't ever be as big because your mother doesn't allow you to watch My So-Called Life. You have to sneak around to do so. I know, Jordan Catalano is a fox. Boy, do I know. It's just that you're trying to water down your Devon obsession simply because he disappeared after Now & Then. Little do you know he'll be popping up 4 years later to star in Final Destination. No, he isn't nearly as cute post-puberty, but it's still not very nice of you to ditch him for Jared. I repeat: editing history is not okay.
10. Regarding the trip, you do explain what happened on the next page but it is not, as you put it, really, really FUNNY!!! 
11. You might want to rethink your nicknames. Mel, Eyeore, and Peace? Come on. Could you be any lamer? (Should you choose to keep them, make sure you spell "Eeyore" correctly from now on, but I'd strongly advise you to quit them altogether.)
12. One more thing and this has nothing to do with the content of your journal entry, but where did you put that purple pen? I'd really like to borrow it.

That's it for today. I hope all of you are having a relaxing and lazy Sunday. I'm about to go do homework (surprise surprise), but Mim is keeping me company as she grades some papers. She's kind of making me feel like an idiot because her second graders' cursive is much prettier than mine is now, at age 23. Not my fault. I never had to write in cursive past the 7th grade. Okay, adios.

Peace. Love. Yes, Devon, you can keep me.