Showing posts with label crush. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crush. Show all posts

Monday, February 2, 2009

tangent thirteen: bite me.


Guess who's back? 
After an extra long vacay I'm back and ready to roll. I know I promised to write a lot during my break; however, I opted not to and did other things instead. I slept, watched a lot of unnecessary television, went to my 5 year high school reunion (AKA "shit show 2k8"), and went on a cruise with my family (and brought in the new year with a smooch on the cheek from my mother). Jealous? I'm sure. My first quarter at The Circus went really well, and it's good to know that I'm heading in the right direction in terms of what I want to do with the rest of my life. At least for now. You could probably care less about that so I'll ease into my newest tangent before you start bitching. While I did waste a lot of my time watching mindless TV shows and galavanting around Atlanta will my fellow high school chums during the break, I also divvied up some of my time to a fictional male specimen known to some as Edward Cullen. I, however, prefer to refer to him as "perfection". Edward Cullen is one of the characters in the Twilight book series by Stephenie Meyer. Now, if you are an observant and nitpicky person then you are A) obnoxious but B) also probably remembering something I wrote in tangent ten. I merely stated that I didn't understand the hype concerning Twilight. I never made fun of those who did. I retract my statement because I understand the hype now. At about 2:30 on Christmas Eve day I was perusing through Target, trying to find last minute Christmas gifts (if you know me, you aren't the least bit surprised) and a shiny paperback book cover caught my eye. There it was. A simple, yet perfect depiction of the forbidden fruit resting in the pale palms of two delicate hands. It was as if Eve herself was offering me a bite...Christmas Eve. Oh, the irony! I tried to hold my ground and walk past the preteen book section in order to make it to the DVD wall faster but something else caught my eye, paralyzing me even longer. The price sticker. Once I saw that, I knew I had been defeated. I took the bait and bought the book. Metaphorically speaking, one might say I took a bite. Eve's good. Whether out of respect for Christmas and my family or trying to salvage whatever morsel of dignity I had left, I  put the book on my bed and left it there until the next day. Once I had thanked Santa for my grey Uggs and make-up, I trudged upstairs to watch A Christmas Story. (I like the 24 hour marathon...it never gets old to me.) Just as I was about to turn on the tele via remote, that faint glittery glimmer caught my eye again. Blast, there was no turning back now. Christmas dinner at Gamma's (my badass grandmother) always starts at 6 pm. It's tradition. I began reading Twilight at 2:45ish. Surely, I thought, I would have enough time to get ready. But Edward Cullen just kept luring me in, page by page, with his cold, chiseled body and his chameleon-like eyes, and I couldn't move from my spot on the bed. 4 o'clock rolls around and I'm still pajama-clad, sans a shower, and falling deeper in love with Edward. This was no school girl Devon Sawa crush. This was real. Besides, Devon is just a mere mortal. I contemplated getting up and doing a rain dance so Atlanta might become more like Forks. I even checked the locks on my windows to see if they were painted shut. They were, and I cursed them because Edward would not be able to come into my bedroom. 5:15. No shower. No movement apart from my fingers flipping the pages. Not even a bathroom break. This was serious. My mom yelled at me from downstairs to make sure I was on my way to getting ready, and she informed me that they were going to ride in a separate car. Not a good idea, Mom. Not a good idea at all. I was suddenly 12 years old again...not because I was ridiculously engrossed in a tween book series about vampires but because I was lying to my mother about my grooming progress. I had made none. Damn that 544-page temptress. I'm not sure what snapped me out of my Edward love daze, but I finally got up and bathed, making my brother and me over 30 minutes late to Christmas dinner. You might be thinking, "Melissa, isn't 30 minutes late like early for you?" Well, hardy har har, you jackass. That's pretty funny. Not. Christmas dinner was fine, except for the gaping and rapidly expanding hole in my heart, otherwise known as my incessant longing for more Edward. I couldn't wait to get back to Meyer's literary ingenuity. Some things prevented that from happening, and I was forced to put down the book for longer than I wanted to. It wasn't until the cruise that I was able to pick it back up again. I silently apologized to Edward for my betrayal and finished Twilight in a flash. I then began to read New Moon, the sequel to Twilight, and I sunk to a new low. After ringing in the new year with my mom's kiss, I left the lido deck party, went to my room, changed into pajamas, and...wait for it...wait for it...read. Welcome to 2009, Melissa. You kind of believe in vampires. You're kind of delusional. What a great start. I even went and saw Twilight the movie 3 hours after returning home from the cruise. It didn't do my imagination justice; however, Robert Pattinson can sink his teeth into my neck any day. I am currently on the 3rd book of the series, but luckily school has somewhat brought me back to reality...not by choice. I'm worried I'll never be able to date again because I've concluded that my type is vampire and seeing as that they don't exist (or do they?) I am doomed to live a life alone vying with 7th graders for nonexistent Edward's love. Of course, I am kidding...I think. I didn't want to reveal any of the books' plots and stories because I urge you to pick it up and begin the journey yourself. I get the hype now. You should too.

Peace. Love. Move over, Devon.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

tangent seven: MW + DS = ♥.


Hi.
Yesterday I had this great idea to write a tangent about John Parker Wilson (Alabama's smokeshow of a quarterback) and somehow tie in my obsession with Hodge Wooten, my favorite Alabama alum, but I just couldn't get it together in time. I'm not an Alabama fan. I just enjoy both JPW and Hodge...probably Hodge more than JPW. Hodge is worth writing about, and I'm sure you will hear more about him at some point in time. He's not a celebrity or a nationally recognized athlete. He's a very good friend of mine, and I've been obsessed with the kid for 10 years now. He knows it. It's no secret that I adore him. I gave up being covert about my decade-long crush about 9 1/2 years ago. So if you know him and plan on sending this to him to be like, "Dude, this chick has a major thing for you," you're wasting a lot of precious time. I'll probably call him after this to inform him of the post. To be honest, he should've ended up in the collage over a few things. (Hi sweet Hodge.) Okay, transitioning into today's tangent. Devon Sawa. I'm sure you remember him, especially if you're a girl in your early 20s. He had a front-running position as a tween heartthrob for a good 2 or 3 years back in the mid-'90s. I first fell for Devon after watching Little Giants. My love for him then began to grow pretty steadily once Casper hit theaters. Oh how I yearned for him to whisper, "Can I keep you?" into my ear while dancing in mid-air, two feet above the ground. Christina Ricci was one lucky gal. My infatuation was in full bloom after watching and re-watching Now & Then. Devon's perfect portrayal of Scott Wormer, the sarcastic smart-ass and love interest of (go figure) Christina Ricci's character, Roberta Martin, pushed me into a crush level that I hadn't yet experienced in all my 11 years of existence. It was, in a word, intense. Since my return from Italy, I've been gradually cleaning out my room, trying to get rid of a lot of childhood paraphernalia and attire. It's proving to be a very difficult task for a few reasons: I'm a pack-rat, I hate to clean, and I have real ADD (as in, I didn't need to buy medicine from my friends during exam time...I had my own). The other day, as I was attempting to organize, I found one of my old journals, got distracted, and stopped cleaning. I started browsing through it and found the entry that inspired me to write today's tangent. Actually, it only partly inspired me. I was also inspired because one of my friends called me yesterday and told me that she made out with a guy who starred in Now & Then (okay, not so much "starred in" as "had one line in"...whatever, I'm still impressed). True story, folks. I think I was more excited about the make out sesh than my friend was. I immediately IMDBed this guy and confirmed the validity of her confession. Then I got jealous, for I, too, would like to smooch someone who has been in close vicinity of Devon Sawa. Anyway, the first half of this tangent's inspiration can be seen below: 

Now I'm not one to doubt my undying love for Señor Sawa way back when; however, I do have a few bones to pick with 11-year-old Melissa about this particular entry:
  1. "Alot" is not one word. You should have learned that a long time ago.
  2. Easy on the capitalization, bolding, underlining, and exclamations. It'll be okay. We get your drift about the importance of DEVON SAWA!!!
  3. While it seems very unfair in your eyes that Devon Sawa resides across the country, miles and miles away from you, it's for your own good. I know you probably haven't thought this out, but any relationship consummated between the two of you would be deemed illegal in the law's eyes and would most likely land the love of your life behind bars. (Also, you don't fully understand what it means to consummate a relationship yet, and you've still got a few years until you do.)
  4. Your little "P.S." addition makes me laugh. Let me get this straight: the main reason you and Devon can't be together is because of distance? It's merely a minor hindrance that he's a famous actor and you're an awkward preteen about to embark on your first year of middle school. Yeah, that makes sense.
  5. Where did you learn that Devon Sawa was coming to Georgia? I'm fairly certain he'll never make it into these parts and that you made up that information. You're known to fib a bit at your age...especially in your journal. I'm not sure why because it's your journal, but if I can make a bold prediction, Devon will stay put in Hollywood. Let me know if I'm incorrect though.
  6. Concerning that one in a million chance about meeting him...isn't it more like one in a trillion? 
  7. I know what the outcome of that chance will be, and it's not going to work out in your favor. Sorry.
  8. Why did you choose to edit this entry at a later date? The point of keeping a journal is so you can record your current thoughts. It's not okay to go back and edit history just to suit your wants, but again, you have some trouble with telling the truth right now so I'm not all that surprised. Also, way to be inconspicuous about it with a black pen. 
  9. Your love for Jared Leto most certainly does not surpass your love for Devon on June 15, 1996. Your Jared Leto phase won't ever be as big because your mother doesn't allow you to watch My So-Called Life. You have to sneak around to do so. I know, Jordan Catalano is a fox. Boy, do I know. It's just that you're trying to water down your Devon obsession simply because he disappeared after Now & Then. Little do you know he'll be popping up 4 years later to star in Final Destination. No, he isn't nearly as cute post-puberty, but it's still not very nice of you to ditch him for Jared. I repeat: editing history is not okay.
  10. Regarding the trip, you do explain what happened on the next page but it is not, as you put it, really, really FUNNY!!! 
  11. You might want to rethink your nicknames. Mel, Eyeore, and Peace? Come on. Could you be any lamer? (Should you choose to keep them, make sure you spell "Eeyore" correctly from now on, but I'd strongly advise you to quit them altogether.)
  12. One more thing and this has nothing to do with the content of your journal entry, but where did you put that purple pen? I'd really like to borrow it.
That's it for today. I hope all of you are having a relaxing and lazy Sunday. I'm about to go do homework (surprise surprise), but Mim is keeping me company as she grades some papers. She's kind of making me feel like an idiot because her second graders' cursive is much prettier than mine is now, at age 23. Not my fault. I never had to write in cursive past the 7th grade. Okay, adios.

Peace. Love. Yes, Devon, you can keep me.