tangent twenty: gorillas enjoy Phil Collins.

Ciao.

I started boot camp yesterday, and my body and I are currently in a big fight. No worries. A tangent will spawn from the experience...maybe a few tangents. Today, however, is Tuneage Tuesday. I may have stretched that term lately because the last two tangents written on Tuesdays weren't so much about music. Their titles were, which is how I got away with it. I'm in advertising. I'm quick like that. Funny I should mention advertising. Today's tangent is actually about an ad. It's an older ad, but the first time I saw it I almost peed my pants. I didn't. Don't get grossed out. Don't ask me about the ad's purpose. I have no clue. All I can say is that you will remember it once you've seen it. And you will automatically associate this odd video with the product it promotes. After watching this for the first time I let out a sigh of relief. It's good to know that once I get out of ad school I'll be allowed to make bizarre ads...even if along the way I have to sell toilet paper via cartoon bears. The following video makes my career purposeful. Please watch. Please laugh. Please come close to urinating.

Peace. Love. You're not supposed to get it.

tangent nineteen: just say no to emoticons.

That is all.

Peace. Love. [Insert smiley with tongue out and brows furrowed here].

tangent eighteen: rock the vote. not.

No one is voting. The poll is coming down. Maybe that means no one is reading. Whatevs. Looked at or not, the tangents will still be produced. We've already discussed my narcissistic tendencies. Ahem, excuse me. I've already discussed my narcissistic tendencies.

Peace. Love. No you can't.

tangent seventeen: cop-out.

Happy Monday. 

I had every intention of coming up with a new and fantastic tangent today, but instead I didn't. A little while ago I was invited to go to the Hawks game, so I'm going to steal one of those lame lists from facebook, copy it onto here, and call it a day. Unoriginal? Perhaps. But I'm not about to pass up a fun night to stay home and blog. I'd like to keep a few cool points in the bank. Anyway, the list you see below is one of those "25 Things About Me" copy-and-paste notes that take up too much time to fill out and aren't all that interesting to anyone else other than the vain person filling out said list. Regardless, here is mine. It was originally posted on facebook in February. Enjoy delving into my narcissism. And if you've already seen it, well...sucks for you.

Confirmation That I Need a Life:

1. I'd gladly let a hippo eat me just for a chance to hug one.
   
2. At the first sign of a tornado (warning, watch, severe thunderstorm possibly producing a funnel cloud) I'm in the basement or a bathtub. Greatest fear.
   
3. I watch Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents, and Jimmy Neutron on Nickelodeon. And laugh hard.
   
4. My real last name is Langston-Wood.
   
5. While I respect her courageous fashion choices, I think Carrie Bradshaw is one of the most selfish fictional characters ever to grace my television set...Meredith Grey probably beats her, but I stopped watching Grey's Anatomy a long time ago and do not feel the need to analyze its female leading role.
   
6. To go along with number 5, I thought the Sex & the City movie blew.
   
7. Backstreet Boys. Yes, still.
   
8. I want to live in the Greek isles someday.
   
9. Most Friday nights I'd rather hang out with my brother at home than go to the bars.
   
10. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received came from Maggie Kelly (my friend Natalie's mom): Don't buy expensive shoes until you get out of college. Bar funk is not partial to brands.
    
11. Diet Dr Pepper and cheese dip are necessities in my life.
    
12. I'm really good about not calling people back.
    
13. I'm scared that when I have kids it will be socially acceptable to propose to someone via text message.
    
14. I love text messaging.
    
15. I really like 6 Flags, but I hate that my hands smell like wet pennies after spending a day there.
    
16. I think energy drinks are disgusting.
    
17. My dog smells like she's wet even when she's dry. We keep her outside.
    
18. Coffee. Gross. Cigarettes. Grosser.
    
19. I fly all the time, but every time the plane takes off I still worry it's going to crash.
    
20. Not everybody loves Raymond.
    
21. A spoonful of peanut butter is guaranteed to make my day better.
    
22. I'm addicted to classic ChapStick.
    
23. In the winter you'll find me in Uggs. In the summer, Haviana flip-flops.
    
24. I don't miss college.
    
25. Right now I'm in class, and I haven't been paying attention. I'm going to have to teach it to myself. Awesome.
    

You probably figured this out, but #25 is not applicable anymore. I'm sure you caught that though because you're a genius. At any rate, I'm off. Go Hawks.

Peace. Love. Space Jam.

tangent sixteen: green day.

O'Hey.

I am done with second quarter and feel the need to rant. I actually have an excuse because it's St. Patrick's Day. So now I'm going to talk about verde. Learn Spanish if you don't understand that. Specifically, I want to discuss what happens to many people who forget to wear green on March 17. Some people choose not to do so out of protest to conventional standards. A handful of those people sit together in corners wearing black and discussing why convention and conformity do not apply to them. I think they have somewhat of a good idea there, but their execution leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I'd prefer for them to whine far away from my ears. We aren't discussing my problem with the color black or a bunch of egocentric emo kids though. We're discussing green. Well, I'm discussing green. You're reading about it. Maybe. Back to those who don't wear green. It's your prerogative if you decide not to partake in drunken Irish festivities. You shouldn't feel obligated to wear a "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" tight-fitting baby-T or an obnoxious blinking leprechaun button. You shouldn't even feel compelled to wear a smidgen of green if you don't want to. Let's be honest here for a second. St. Patrick's Day is really just spring break compressed into 24 hours. And if that's not your thing, then so be it. I personally enjoy the quasi-holiday. I do not, however, enjoy the pinchers. If you still pinch people for not wearing green then you just volunteered your way onto my "I'd like to punch you in the face" list. Don't be an asshole. Pinching serves no purpose other than legitimate proof that someone (the pincher) sucks. And not the mean kind of sucks, the irritating kind of sucks...which is way worse. I don't care if you think it's funny to parade around the office and pinch your co-workers who forgot their tiny Paddy flair. The only reason they even wear it is to avoid people like you. You aren't 7 anymore. Let the non-greeners go through March 17 in peace. In my opinion, pinching lies on the same plane with Carrot Top. Annoying and useless. So join me in my attempt to stop the pinchers from spreading their venomous fingers. Should you choose to be witty after reading this and decide to squeeze a portion of my skin in between your thumb and pointer finger then I can almost guarantee you'll be moved to the top of the previously-mentioned list. I hope those of you who dig today have green beers in hand and are about to sway back and forth to "Piano Man" at an overcrowded Irish pub. I'll see you in a few.

Peace. Love. Ginger fever.