tangent sixteen: green day.

O'Hey.

I am done with second quarter and feel the need to rant. I actually have an excuse because it's St. Patrick's Day. So now I'm going to talk about verde. Learn Spanish if you don't understand that. Specifically, I want to discuss what happens to many people who forget to wear green on March 17. Some people choose not to do so out of protest to conventional standards. A handful of those people sit together in corners wearing black and discussing why convention and conformity do not apply to them. I think they have somewhat of a good idea there, but their execution leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I'd prefer for them to whine far away from my ears. We aren't discussing my problem with the color black or a bunch of egocentric emo kids though. We're discussing green. Well, I'm discussing green. You're reading about it. Maybe. Back to those who don't wear green. It's your prerogative if you decide not to partake in drunken Irish festivities. You shouldn't feel obligated to wear a "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" tight-fitting baby-T or an obnoxious blinking leprechaun button. You shouldn't even feel compelled to wear a smidgen of green if you don't want to. Let's be honest here for a second. St. Patrick's Day is really just spring break compressed into 24 hours. And if that's not your thing, then so be it. I personally enjoy the quasi-holiday. I do not, however, enjoy the pinchers. If you still pinch people for not wearing green then you just volunteered your way onto my "I'd like to punch you in the face" list. Don't be an asshole. Pinching serves no purpose other than legitimate proof that someone (the pincher) sucks. And not the mean kind of sucks, the irritating kind of sucks...which is way worse. I don't care if you think it's funny to parade around the office and pinch your co-workers who forgot their tiny Paddy flair. The only reason they even wear it is to avoid people like you. You aren't 7 anymore. Let the non-greeners go through March 17 in peace. In my opinion, pinching lies on the same plane with Carrot Top. Annoying and useless. So join me in my attempt to stop the pinchers from spreading their venomous fingers. Should you choose to be witty after reading this and decide to squeeze a portion of my skin in between your thumb and pointer finger then I can almost guarantee you'll be moved to the top of the previously-mentioned list. I hope those of you who dig today have green beers in hand and are about to sway back and forth to "Piano Man" at an overcrowded Irish pub. I'll see you in a few.

Peace. Love. Ginger fever.