tangent twenty-five: duck me.

Hey.

I'm aware of the time. It's 3:27 AM. Don't go, "Holy crap, why are you still up?" That's obnoxious, and it's none of your business. It doesn't matter. This will be short. It also won't have anything to do with April Fools Day. I save those jokes for real people. Not virtual ones. There wouldn't be any payoff for me to play a joke on you. And if it doesn't benefit me then I don't really care. I'm vain. We've covered that already. I got an email from a friend tonight about this blog. I scrolled through and let out a giggle or two. Perhaps even a hearty chuckle at one point. I thought to myself, "These people suck. That face sucks. I am better than these people." Sometime later I checked my blog and noticed something. You might even notice it too. Check the top right corner (or the giant picture at the top of the post). That's me making a duck face. A small duck face. One might even say a duckling face. (How many of you laughed at that? I hope at least one and a half.) I am making a stupid face that girls make on facebook when they're trying to be sexy. In my defense, I'm next to a three-year-old and I'm mimicking her pacifier. I didn't take the picture so I could add it to my [insert popular rap song name/lyric here] album on facebook and have boys give me a virtual thumbs up. Regardless, I should be shot in the foot for such a pose. I think it's time for a Tangent M makeover. Be on the lookout.

Peace. Love. Don't duck it up.

PS: I stayed up a bit longer and changed the look. If you miss the old one or have already forgotten what it looks like (if so, bless your heart) then you can be reminded at tangent two.

tangent twenty-three: everyone Googles everyone.

Hey kids.

It's nice to see your shining faces again. I'm a liar. I can't see your faces. I don't know if they're shining or not. And to be honest, I don't care all that much. Nothing against you. I just don't really know who exactly is reading this so it's hard for me to feel genuine concern for the matter. This is going to be short and sweet. I Google people all the time: celebs, myself, real people, the list goes on. I also happen to check my blog's traffic a lot. Tonight, after I exhausted my procrastination habits between twitter and facebook I decided to see who's been checking out Tangent M lately. I can't see your name so don't freak out. I can, however, sometimes see how you got to my blog. Apparently I'm not the only person who thinks Hodge Wooten is a stud muffin. So, whoever you are, you've been caught. Sort-of. I don't know your name. Only that you're from Marietta. But I know that you found my blog because you googled Hodge. I took a screenshot to prove it (click the picture at the top to enlarge). And I seriously doubt there are two Hodge Wootens running around Atlanta. If so, this city is a better place. Either way, I'm telling him. Okay, off to do work. Maybe. Probably not.

Peace. Love. Heart for Hodge.

tangent eighteen: rock the vote. not.

No one is voting. The poll is coming down. Maybe that means no one is reading. Whatevs. Looked at or not, the tangents will still be produced. We've already discussed my narcissistic tendencies. Ahem, excuse me. I've already discussed my narcissistic tendencies.

Peace. Love. No you can't.

tangent seventeen: cop-out.

Happy Monday. 

I had every intention of coming up with a new and fantastic tangent today, but instead I didn't. A little while ago I was invited to go to the Hawks game, so I'm going to steal one of those lame lists from facebook, copy it onto here, and call it a day. Unoriginal? Perhaps. But I'm not about to pass up a fun night to stay home and blog. I'd like to keep a few cool points in the bank. Anyway, the list you see below is one of those "25 Things About Me" copy-and-paste notes that take up too much time to fill out and aren't all that interesting to anyone else other than the vain person filling out said list. Regardless, here is mine. It was originally posted on facebook in February. Enjoy delving into my narcissism. And if you've already seen it, well...sucks for you.

Confirmation That I Need a Life:

1. I'd gladly let a hippo eat me just for a chance to hug one.
   
2. At the first sign of a tornado (warning, watch, severe thunderstorm possibly producing a funnel cloud) I'm in the basement or a bathtub. Greatest fear.
   
3. I watch Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents, and Jimmy Neutron on Nickelodeon. And laugh hard.
   
4. My real last name is Langston-Wood.
   
5. While I respect her courageous fashion choices, I think Carrie Bradshaw is one of the most selfish fictional characters ever to grace my television set...Meredith Grey probably beats her, but I stopped watching Grey's Anatomy a long time ago and do not feel the need to analyze its female leading role.
   
6. To go along with number 5, I thought the Sex & the City movie blew.
   
7. Backstreet Boys. Yes, still.
   
8. I want to live in the Greek isles someday.
   
9. Most Friday nights I'd rather hang out with my brother at home than go to the bars.
   
10. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received came from Maggie Kelly (my friend Natalie's mom): Don't buy expensive shoes until you get out of college. Bar funk is not partial to brands.
    
11. Diet Dr Pepper and cheese dip are necessities in my life.
    
12. I'm really good about not calling people back.
    
13. I'm scared that when I have kids it will be socially acceptable to propose to someone via text message.
    
14. I love text messaging.
    
15. I really like 6 Flags, but I hate that my hands smell like wet pennies after spending a day there.
    
16. I think energy drinks are disgusting.
    
17. My dog smells like she's wet even when she's dry. We keep her outside.
    
18. Coffee. Gross. Cigarettes. Grosser.
    
19. I fly all the time, but every time the plane takes off I still worry it's going to crash.
    
20. Not everybody loves Raymond.
    
21. A spoonful of peanut butter is guaranteed to make my day better.
    
22. I'm addicted to classic ChapStick.
    
23. In the winter you'll find me in Uggs. In the summer, Haviana flip-flops.
    
24. I don't miss college.
    
25. Right now I'm in class, and I haven't been paying attention. I'm going to have to teach it to myself. Awesome.
    

You probably figured this out, but #25 is not applicable anymore. I'm sure you caught that though because you're a genius. At any rate, I'm off. Go Hawks.

Peace. Love. Space Jam.

tangent two: the collage.

Evening.

I just realized that it might be a little annoying to read this thing without any knowledge of who I am...unless, of course, you already know me, in which case this post might be a little redundant and boring. Even so, it's still possible you're curious about the collage of pictures strategically placed at the top of my blog. I know I would be. To cease the gnawing frustration in your soul, I've decided to explain my reasons for choosing those pictures. It's not a very unique or extremely interesting tangent, but I'm still recovering from last night and my creativity and originality seem to have gone on vacay together somewhere without telling me. I hope they return tomorrow. I've got work to do. Okay, here goes. Starting with the peace sign and continuing clockwise.

The Peace Sign: I like the peace sign. Not because I'm a nouveau-hippie or because it's the newest accessory fad in Hollywood. I've always liked the peace sign. And, to delve a little bit deeper, I think peace is something to strive for. I'm not sure anyone can really disagree with that. If so, let me know who you are because I'd like to kick you in the shins.

The Backstreet Boys: I am a teeny bopper at heart. I always will be. I like overplayed pop music, JTT used to have the power to make my heart stop just by gracing the cover of TeenBeat, and I still get excited every time BSB tries to make a comeback. They're old enough to be grandfathers, but I commend them for trying. In fact, I encourage it.

Bob Dylan Signature: Everything about Bob Dylan fascinates me. Everything.

Schrute Buck: The Office is the only show currently on television that I will make time to watch. I continuously laugh out loud, and not many shows have the power to make me do that. Also, Jim is a dream boat. I know, that's the most unoriginal statement ever uttered by a girl.

Maria & Me: This is one of the girls I nannied for this summer in Italy. She is 3 going on 13 and never goes anywhere without her pacifiers (yes, plural...she has about 12). She was also a big fan of taking pictures and pretending to talk on the phone. I miss both her and her sister dearly.

Running With Scissors: If you've never read anything by Augusten Burroughs or David Sedaris, please shut off your computer now and go to a bookstore. No, but really.

The Piano: It's my therapy. Don't get excited though, I'm not that good.

Jif Peanut Butter: There aren't too many things better than the first spoonful taken from a brand new jar. Offhand, I can only think of about 3.

Word Vomit: Sometimes I get nervous and talk too much. If you know me I'm sure you've experienced this. My off button suddenly stops working. It's not a very endearing quality, but I'm not sure how to remedy the problem. Suggestions are welcomed.

Football: SEC football...one thing better than the first spoonful of peanut butter.

Italian Sunset: I adore sunsets. I love when the sky is purple and orange and all sorts of colors in between. And I like it when the moon is visible. Wow, I couldn't have sounded more like an ad on match.com.

Hippos: If they weren't so dangerous, I'd find a way to own one. Favorite animal, hands down.

Toulouse-Lautrec's "Alone": This is my favorite painting. I enjoy art, but I understand that a lot of people don't. There's a lot of art out there that I don't get either; however, this one I get and this one I love.

Pisa Picture: I was only in Pisa for 4 hours, so there really isn't sentiment attached to the city. I just liked the picture.

Inevitably Awkward: I think this speaks for itself, especially if you know me. Sometimes this and the word vomit go hand in hand. I've accepted it. Sometimes awkwardness has its perks.

Grecian Hopscotch: If you have enough money to do so, then go to Greece. Forget about any other trip you were thinking about taking and just go. It still goes down in my book as the most fun trip I've ever taken. I'm planning on being rich one day and moving there. I'm just not sure how to make that much money. I don't think being in school and living with my parents will do the trick.

So, that's me in a picturesque nutshell. The cassette tape really has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that I got bored on InDesign and got a little carried away. I did, however, receive a mixed tape from my boyfriend in the tenth grade. I still have it, and among the great classic rock songs on the mix (including "Melissa"...how sweet), "I Hope You Dance" can also be found on there. Jeff denies the fact that he ever put such an atrocity on one of his ingenious and historically famous mixed tapes, but I have proof. It's there. Not to change subjects so quickly, but I was very unimpressed with the lack of middle school attire last night. I waltzed in sporting my BSB t-shirt, Birkenstock clogs, and face glitter, only to find out that the majority of the party-goers decided that they only wanted to dabble in the keg and not in the fun of dressing up. As an added bonus to my costume, the glitter made my face break out. I really did look 13 again. Awkward. Alright, I'm going to watch Brothers & Sisters and nurse this day-long headache to sleep.

Peace. Love. Dance.

PS: Update. I have since revamped the look of Tangent M. The collage no longer exists. The photo at the top is a mere memory.