Hey kiddos.
How is everyone doing today? I am in a good mood except for the fact that it's Sunday and I haven't done nearly enough work. That's usually how Sundays go. I freak out because I haven't done enough work, which is really just another form of procrastination. And tomorrow I will be freaking out even more because of my freak out today. It's just how it is. I've forgotten what a weekend is. Since I only have classes on Mondays and Tuesdays my weekend consists of getting sleep on Tuesday night and then freaking out Wednesday about how much work I have left to do. To clarify, the freaking out happens in my head. I do not rip off all my clothes, run around the city, and scream absurd religious convictions to no one in particular. Enough of that. I can tell you're already bored. It is finally sunny in Atlanta and that makes me happy; however, lately it has been grey, soggy, and rainy. But it's been bad rain. Spitty rain. Spitty rain is precipitation consisting of quasi-droplets that feel more like God's cold spit on your face and less like a well needed earth hydration. So until today I have been playing the role of Eeyore: gloomy, grey, and sans my tail (which is true because I'm a human and was born without a tail. I think). It's kind of weird that today is sunny because it would be more fitting for today's tangent to be written on a spitty rain day. It's just weird. It's not ironic, which brings us to today's tangent. My least favorite things. In no particular order.
- Misusing the word, "ironic". I blame Alanis. She had no business writing a song about coincidences and referring to them as irony.
- Juicy Couture velour tracksuits. Victoria's Secret Pink line also applies.
- This season's Real World cast (Real World: DC). MTV, could you have found six strangers any lamer? Bring back Hawaii.
- Bathroom stall doors that open inward.
- Music snobs. Go ahead and put hipsters here too.
- Fern spores. Lots of small things in groups make me extremely uneasy.
- Cats.
- Houses that smell like dog. And the people who own these houses and have become immune to the stench.
- Bad singers on American Idol who get record deals.
- The Progressive lady.
- Phantom farters. Also known as Fly-bys.
- People who tag themselves in facebook pictures.
- Adults using the word "tummy" when a child is not present.
- Fat Luke Wilson trying to sell me AT&T.
- Putting liquids in quart-sized bags before boarding an airplane. What the hell does this prevent?
- Girls who talk like babies when they're on the phone with their boyfriends.
- When people act like they're the most surprised they've ever been when I tell them I haven't seen [insert greatest movie ever made that I have yet to watch here]. Or when they ask, "You haven't seen [insert greatest movie ever made that I have yet to watch here]?" No, jackass. Why would I lie about that?
- Goatees.
- Oxygen bars. Tap air is fine by me.
- Broken escalators.
- Idiots who ask fat women when they're due.
- Larry the Cable Guy. Not laughing.
- Snakes.
- Cynical people who make lists about things they hate. I don't count.
Peace. Love. It's usually never ironic.
